- I have a secret love child. Although the police are just calling her my victim.
- The wifes just finished trimming her pubes, her fanny looks a lot neater now but she's fucked my flymo.
- Speedboat victim was BSkyB executive. Footage of incident available on Pay Per View @ £2.99
- I got so drunk over the last couple of days that I woke up lying in a strange street in Paris. It was a Rue De Wakening.
- 'New racism row at Stamford Bridge' I guess that's where John Terry will sit when he retires.
- My Pornstar friend recently passed away. As a mark of respect we had his ashes scattered over his wife's face.
- I was going to watch the Brits. But then I remembered I genuinely love music.
- I think the Man Utd footballers will struggle with Reading. Writing too, if I am completely honest.
- A man stole my car the other night and before I tried calling the police I thought: "Fuck it, let him explain the bodies in the boot."展开全文
- Egypt has banned youtube for a month Wait till they find out what you can watch on pornhub!
- I'm not saying my friend is fat, but he's the only person i know that watches porn and comes when the guy delivers the Pizza.
- I tried to explain to my wife that with anal sex she won't get pregnant. Particularly as I'm doing it with Graham.
- I got the chance today to ask my dad and my grandad if there was any history of incest in our family. He said there wasn't.
- When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia it was like music to my arse
- Apparently, I suffer from xenophobia... I bet I caught it off some fucking foreigner.
- That's teaching. One day you're taking the register, the next you're appearing on one. (via Frankieboyle )
- Apparently, 76 years ago Jessie Owens won the 200m, in front of Hitler. I didn't even know Hitler competed.
- @frankieboyle it’s a bit like bullying a defenceless disabled child - pretty easy for an ignorant and irrelevant asshat
- Joey Barton receives a fisting at Liverpool gay club. He was also punched in the face.
- Family Mourn Playground Death boy.... Superhero names have got really shit lately
